Is this wrong?

I'm so angry right now. I was trying to go to bed when we had an argument about the church that he used to go to. The fact is that he really wants to go back there, he feels like something is missing from his life. And my truth, doesn't really matter to him, but I don't want to revisit a place that he frequented so much with his ex-wfie. Now we're in separate rooms, and I am angry as hell. Why can't he understand that? Why doesnt' he get the fact that I want to do something that was / is different from what they were? Is this the wrong relationship for me? Have I committed myself to someone who may never change? We're so different sometimes I am not even sure if we can survive. We've ben arguing a lot lately. I've been working out a lot more, I feel like I always want to get away when we start acting like this, like I just want to run far from here and not look back. Avoidance? Or maybe I am just trying to look out for myself. I just got my gym bag together and now I am writing away like a madwoman. I almost wish my gym were always open, I might even be there right now if it were.
Why can't I get past her? Why is she still such a huge road block for me? Why do I feel like I am walking in the shadow of another woman? Like I am not valued for being the woman that I am. Maybe "me" isn't enough...Maybe I am not enough for me? Like maybe I should try to be stronger and not latch onto him when he pulls away. Let him walk away, I won't die. I have survived worse. Or have I?
I feel like I am cornered in a room full of jagged edges. I am pushed up against a wall, and I am screaming, wait, wait I am just a circle here, I am doing my best to fit in, but I just don't seem to be fitting, no matter how hard I try. It's like those construction toys for kids, you get a red plastic hammer, and you just pound the shape through the appropriate hole. I am being pounded into place but I am a circle, and I don't fit into the triangular shape that I am being forced into.
The triangle before me, she fit in just right, but I don't really know what went wrong, maybe that's were I am failing. I'm trying to puzzle something together that should be left in pieces. But he wants me to be in the shape of that lovely triangle, and I am not. I am one spherically unavoidable circle.
Before him and I moved in together, I used to be online so much. I spent hours at a time chatting and just passing thoughts around online with complete strangers. It wasn't lust driven either, well at least not all of it. I had intelligent conversations with people, thought about life in so many different ways and wondered how people could ever let themselves go and allow other to change them. I vowed that I would always be true to myself, and I feel like even I have let myself down. Because here I sit, this cold circle in my own living room typing away at my circular computer, dumbfounded in this misshapen household that I find myself in.
It's starting to rain outside. How fucking appropriate. It's just how I am feeling on the inside, I really just want to cry but I won't let myself tonight. I will not let him see the soft side of me anymore, I refuse to be weak and allow him to feel like he has won. I will not cry. This is wrong. Peole shouldn't feel this way about the people they love. Why do I feel this way with him? How can one person so easily turn my whole world upside-down? what happened to those firmly planted feet of mine? I think they started to sink in the quicksand beneath me. Because I find myself in knee deep shit, that I am stuck in. There are no branches around me for me to grab hold of, I will sink until someone passes by and sees the top of my head perhpas, and decides to lend me a hand....
The anger is starting to quell. I can feel it passing through me, this is how it happens. Then I feel guilty usually for the nasty words that have passed though my mouth. Words that I have allowed to penetrate the air and create a nice fat triangular wedge between us. I heard sometime ago that words are dangerous in a relationship, there are things that you cannot take back. I am starting to think that actions don't speak louder than words, because my words and the words being thown around this relationship have been hurtful and angry and intended to leave scars. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me, but I think we're definitely past the point of really caring right now. My feelings aren't being heard, and that hurts more than someone just walking away. It's a metaphorical way of telling someone that I don't give a shit about you, I am closing the emotional door on your face, and you will just have to come back tomorrow. He does this to me all the time, he can't handle how expressive I am about things, how much I want to "talk" all the time. Is this wrong, is it all wrong? I want to wash away with the rain that is running down the streets, cold and dark right now, I want to wash away into the sea where my body will be stretched to infinite sizes and my heart won't hurt because it will already be frigid and cold.