A theory on human mortality

Isn't it amazing sometimes how humans actually function? It almost seems like a nasty trick. I can imagine God sitting in his heavenly pearlesque and golden rocker. Thinking aloud..."I will bless this world with humans. All kinds of them, skinny, fat, slow, fast, insanely brilliant, and even stupid ones. But here's the thing....They must be able to handle the fact that there will only be 24 hours in each day they are given to live. That along with the fact that they must sleep almost half of that time. Some will not require that much, those lot can do without the sleep, they will age faster, and will suffer the loss of sleep, but nonetheless, it won't matter that much. 95% of the remaining, must get about 8-10 hours of sleep the remainder of the time, if not more. Then, the must be able to feed themselves, hunt if they must, bathe and have time in the remaining daylight hours to accomplish as much as they can. Oh yes, one more thing, I am going to give the female bunch the ability to reproduce, with of course, the male's contribution. So, yes, once the offspring is born, they have to do all these things to the best of their abilities, and also do it for the smaller ones until they can do it for themselves."
He claps his hands together and rocks back and forth for a bit. Rocking chair squeaking.
"I think I am going to give them the ability to feel...yes, that sounds good, I am going to give them all these things they must accomplish along with the ability to feel a wide variety of emotions, sometimes all at once." This is going to be fun....

Oh what a tangled web he has woven...