When oh When.....

I'm getting spammed like 20 times a day now, for online pharmaceuticals, viagra, and god knows what else. Why is this happening? I don't go browsing at sex sites or anything, especially not when I am working!!! Yes, they're spamming me at work, I know it's just a matter of setting up some rules, but I don't know if I can resist the urge to rule out every person that emails me with a request at this place....which brings me to my next topic...when oh when will "the second most desirable company in the world to work for" call me back to make me the big offer? I say this because, I have always considered pixar to be the coolest place to work at, only because I have always wanted to be a computer animator...But I will definitely take the next best thing...I can't disclose the name of the company, but let's just say that I will forever lead a life of games if I get this job. Yes, I am targeting the gaming industry. I think it's a lucrative career move as a designer / creative person. This could be good. This could be really good. In fact this could be amazing....We shall see, I guess time can only tell me what is possible.

Last night I ran. I ran and ran and ran. And still I had pent up premenstrual angst that I just couldn't shake. I am planning on running my first half marathon in April if my schedule permits. I guess I am getting tired of running without a cause. It will be fun, hopefully it will break me free of my shell of lone running. I don't know why I find so much satisfaction in running alone. I just love it, my favorite time of the day is just before sunset....ahh I can run for hours at that time of day...If only I could talk the sun into not completely setting for me, now that would be cool.

The tot has a game this weekend, where only the ex-monster and I will be attending. This ought to be interesting. Not that I mind her that much anymore, I guess I just don't care much for the personal probbing. Like I am something for her to outshine or outdo, which is okay I guess..Hey if it makes her a better person, I am all for it. I enjoy chatting with her, but sometimes I feel like it's just to see what I am doing, and how she could do it beter.

The honey is going to be out of town, which is okay with me, we're especially overdue for some needed r&r apart for a day or two. You know how that is..when you have had so much of each other that it's just aggrivating after a while. The only problem is that I am so hopelessly attached to him, that even the dog and I get a little down by ourselves when he is gone.

hmm...running....dog....nah...I like my time alone too much...Isn't that sad, that our dog seems like an impediment right now? The good thing about the "second most diserable company in the world to work for" is that I think it will require quite a bit of traveling, which I think will be good for me right now at this point in my life....I have always equated traveling for "grown ups" Like I never really made it to that step. So this will be a "grown up" job with "grown up" responsibilities....I am ready for this next step...

Ya know..I really can't stand this feeling like I am going to blow up. Not that I am pissed off or anything, but for some odd reason I can almost understand the road rage, the angry customers in line at the post office, and the overworked and still working out people at the gym...Isn't that sad? I am not a violent person. well, not all the time, but damn I would make an excellent fighter. I wonder why I never got involved in professional fighting, I definitely have the drive and the raging hormones to do it. I just don't want to mess up my face and body...Yeah, probably not a good idea to mess with my real estate. I am not getting any younger so the chances of bouncing back quick are not as good as they might've been had I been in my 20's.
This is theraputic I think, the more I write, the better I feel, the less I feel like whacking someone. This is good. God, I can't stop checking email...when oh when are they going to call me???? I can't wait anymore!!!!!!!