Quality of Life starting to suffer

I am not doing so well these days..Between the wedding expenses, the ups and downs of maybe possibly buying a new home...I fear that the quality of my moods are paying a high price. I am not cheerful, I am always grumpy, not finding enough time to workout like I was, and irritated because my eating habits are all over the map...I am even having a tough time sleeping on most nights...
I wish there was a way to just have more money. At least enough to buy a house and not owe anything...Why are my chances of winning the lotto so slim? I mean, how is life on the other side really? How must it be for some of those NBA stars to just have thousands of dollars in change in their pockets on any given day? What must it be like to throw down 2 million on a home and not even think twice about it? Will I ever have a life like that?
Why does it feel like I am always struggling with money? I feel like I am always so nervous about over-spending, under budgeting, and spreading myself too thin...I never thought about the price of getting married, and trying to buy a home, especially here in the bay area.
Sure, if we lived in Montanna, or Iowa or some place like that we might be able to afford a ranch with a few acres to spare. But here, buying a townhouse is like pulling teeth..The payments make me nervous, and I am not sure if this is even worth all the stress that is going into it. I mean, thirty year loans! I will be 60 when I am done paying it off...
I am not so stressed out with work, I have a pretty good handle on that, I would like to learn more about project / time management, but between bridal magazines, and home loan applications, purchasing contracts, I have very little time if any to dedicate to alternative literature...
I keep thinking after the wedding and the house (maybe) is purchased, how nice life will be, when I can laugh easily and not worry so much, be a little more carefree and not such a witch to live with. The honey and I want to strangle each other quite regularly now, and it's throwing me off kilter. The tot is paying for our stressed out living environment as well....I think I need a weekend retreat from everything, a massage scheduled for every two weeks until the wedding or something...

My head is pounding...Money is running out, and my hopes are dwindling...