Bobble Head (written 9/7/04)

Bobble-head firefighting girl

Have you ever watched and episode of COPS? When there’s a full speed pursuit on foot, usually there’s a spotlight coming from a helicopter, darting around and around, chasing the criminal down.. Following the suspect over fences, through backyards and deserted property? Today, I feel like one of those suspects, dodging authorities trying to get away from all the hoopla. I shouldn’t be writing because I am at work, but every fiber in me just doesn’t want to be here. Yes, I need a paycheck and I need my job, but I just don’t feel like it today. I’m not up to par, and I think I may be coming down with something. I feel like hiding in the nearest doghouse, and lying low until the sunrises, so I can crawl back to my bedroom and go to sleep.
That and the minor irritation of a weekend that’s being rescheduled are mildly antagonizing this restless soul. The truth is, I’m really just tired of people asking me things, leaving stuff on my desk that has a home somewhere (after I’ve decided where that is) and people constantly upstaging me, telling me how to better do my job, be a more efficient worker, and how THEY’D prefer to have things done. Oh, just shoot me now and leave the gruesome details for later…This morning I left the house feeling like I was about to step into something I’d regret, which I sort of did. You see, I’m an administrative / executive assistant, hr personnel, travel coordinator, design and layout marketing assistant, assistant to the CFO, CTO, CEO and every other acronym you can imagine. I work in a startup environment and my head is getting heavy with the stack of hats that sits on it. Actually if you ever saw the size my little neck you would laugh, just the thought of something heavy on my head makes me feel like a human bobble head. Clearly I wasn’t meant to have so many responsibilities or I wouldn’t be screwing up so badly so often. “An assistant?” they said, well, let’s hire a more “senior” person to alleviate some of her duties. This left me jumping for joy. The prospect of having one or two jobs left me happy as a clam, but I haven’t seen him or her yet, I just keep hearing threatening rumors. I’m staring at my black coffee cup with lipstick stains on it…Wondering just how in a matter of hours could I begin to feel so cruddy? Is that how viruses get you? They just outright jump you like a mugger in an alley? Hmmm, what would be a legitimate reason for going home? Uh oh the mailman just got here, the party is getting better, now I have four small fires to put out and no water left….