Monday Blues

I don't know why, but when I am faced with stress, I start to stress eat. Not just any ole food either, it's bad, like cheetos, pie, chocolate bars, etc...It's been especially hard lately because my wedding favors are chocolate bars...

I didn't manage to go to the gym today, which sucks. I hate skipping days like this...I guess I will make an extra special effort to get out there tomorrow morning, I will go for a run tonight too...I am feel sickly. I don't know why, my throat burns, and I am already burned out, and it's just Monday.
The only fun thing I managed to do today was get my friend / co-worker a birthday present. :) I like giving gifts....
I think I found out who the nark is here at work, and it's sort of distressing...I don't have anything spectacular to write about today, I feel like I just want to go home and lay in bed....I want to leave. I have a half hour still...I think what I wished I had was more motivation to finish projects that I start. I start them and then they're just left hanging. I hate it when I do that....

I read an article today about children with overly disciplining parents tend to become overweight by the age of 6...So tell me, why did I become overweight in high-school? Or middle school even. I noticed today, that my mother is especially emotional. I am so much like her. But she was like night and day from one moment to another. It was a little disturbing, only because I hate to see her go through such swings like that. I try to play it off like I have everything under control, but I really don't. I am like a small volcano inside. The honey knows that too, and I think it really troubles him...I wish I were thinner, like the way I was a few years ago. I don't know what in the hell I did to become so thin, so fast, but man my clothes fit me so much better, and my confidence levels were so much higher..Now I look in the mirror and I see a big fat ass....
Maybe I should set up an appointment with Marilyn. She used to ground me so much.. I sometimes feel like I have lost a sense of who I am. Like my values have changed, and my thoughts have become so angry all the time. I wish I was happy-go-lucky like I used to be. So carefree, albeit a little chunky but seeming to be so much more stable....

Gotta go.