Ok Damnit

I have decided to start blogging more. I am going to blog until my poor little fingers are sore. I am going to blog all the frustration and desire to stuff my face with unhealthy food....

Yes, Famous Amos, those are the last of you. I just polished off a bag of chocolate chip cookies, along with chicken strips a little earlier. I know why though, my lunch was too salad heavy and didn't have enough protein, so I got the munchies....What was strange was that I felt the worst stomach pains after lunch, and well, had to run to the loo...I don't know what it could've been, maybe my salad??

So, I am determined to get better at this. I have been keeping in too many feelings...I hate bottling shit up and then just letting go, usually at my own expense..

Last night, I took the pooch running at about 9:30. It felt so good to run and feel free. He and I do really well together in the evnings. Mind you ocassionally I get tripped up and he gets knotted around a bumper. lol, I have a hard time seeing at night I guess. Today, I have to do something active as well.

How do you find motivation when you're at work early, and leave late? Lunch is out of the question because there is too little time to do anything...

I guess I am pretty agro with my boss too. She is very unorganized and makes these ridiculous requests. Now I am getting better at managing my anger, and not eating so much. I guess today I ate because I was actually hungry. I just made the wrong choices..
I am little frazzled about $$ too. I actually forgot to pay rent this month..I am still playing catch-up after the wedding expense crunch, and I just got the little paycheck I was expecting...Since my retarded-ass boss, decided at the last minute to not give me the time off I needed for the wedding...So what was I to do? I took unpaid time off, which hurt this month. But we're recovering...It just makes me think, usually my mind goes off during my am commute...

This morning, I realized that I should be looking for two new jobs instead of one. One to pay for household bills, and the other to pay for everything else...

I heard about this suspension bridge in China where it was a popluar place to jump. One man, (in an NPR interview) wanted to jump because he had no money left and didn't know what to do. He worked and worked, but just didn't make enough...Not that I want to die or anything, but I can understand the grief and stress he must be feeling...I understand not having enough, hating where you have to be every morning, and then hating yourself for letting things get so bad..

Ha! And I wonder why I am getting fatter....