Isn't it amazing sometimes how humans actually function? It almost seems like a nasty trick. I can imagine God sitting in his heavenly pearlesque and golden rocker. Thinking aloud..."I will bless this world with humans. All kinds of them, skinny, fat, slow, fast, insanely brilliant, and even stupid ones. But here's the thing....They must be able to handle the fact that there will only be 24 hours in each day they are given to live. That along with the fact that they must sleep almost half of that time. Some will not require that much, those lot can do without the sleep, they will age faster, and will suffer the loss of sleep, but nonetheless, it won't matter that much. 95% of the remaining, must get about 8-10 hours of sleep the remainder of the time, if not more. Then, the must be able to feed themselves, hunt if they must, bathe and have time in the remaining daylight hours to accomplish as much as they can. Oh yes, one more thing, I am going to give the female bunch the ability to reproduce, with of course, the male's contribution. So, yes, once the offspring is born, they have to do all these things to the best of their abilities, and also do it for the smaller ones until they can do it for themselves."
He claps his hands together and rocks back and forth for a bit. Rocking chair squeaking.
"I think I am going to give them the ability to feel...yes, that sounds good, I am going to give them all these things they must accomplish along with the ability to feel a wide variety of emotions, sometimes all at once." This is going to be fun....
Oh what a tangled web he has woven...
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Pride and Predjudice
I had no idea that Pride and Predjudice was such a beautiful love story. I know I read it when I was younger, but I guess I must've forgotten the story.
I found it so intriguing when Elizabeth found herself so repelled but yet so attracted to the one man, she knew she could never have. She loathed him, yet she yearned for him at the same time. Classes were such a hateful thing at the turn of the century especially in England. I can't imagine how difficult life must've been for the people born in a lower class. Especially the women. I think of how lucky I am to have been born when I was. Women have treaded down such a long and gruesome trail of inequality, and despair. It makes my heart wrench at the very thought of it. It's hard to believe that there was a time when women were at the mercy of their suitors. They had to accept a life of no love for the sake of their survival, worse yet, their family's survival.
However, there were those that were lucky, and found true love. Tonight, made me think of the honey. It made me realize how lucky I am to have him, yet we're so mutually stubborn, and born of sharp tongues, that sometimes I just have to throw my arms up in submission. Yet I chose this. This is mine to keep. This is mine to do what I please with. This is not a life that I was born into and forced to live. This is my choice. My choice. What a wonderful concept. A woman's right to choose. To choose to love or hate, to keep or to destroy. Although I couldn't bring myself to do the latter. The freedom of that concept alone is enough to make me cry. I don't know why really. I guess that movie made me think of present day values and customs. How so many women I have seen are so helplessly and stupidly arrogant with themselves. If they only knew the hardships and the predjudice we have endured, maybe their eyes would flicker open and the fog would clear. Maybe they would have more pride then to throw themselves away with contempt and poor self image. Then there are those, that I so look up to, the ones that value themselves and are pillars of strength in my life. Like my mother, my sister. These are two strong women. Two women that remind me to be proud, no matter what company I keep or whatever circumstances I find myself in. They helped form that little voice that reminds me of right and wrong. They showed me what it meant to be a woman.
I found it so intriguing when Elizabeth found herself so repelled but yet so attracted to the one man, she knew she could never have. She loathed him, yet she yearned for him at the same time. Classes were such a hateful thing at the turn of the century especially in England. I can't imagine how difficult life must've been for the people born in a lower class. Especially the women. I think of how lucky I am to have been born when I was. Women have treaded down such a long and gruesome trail of inequality, and despair. It makes my heart wrench at the very thought of it. It's hard to believe that there was a time when women were at the mercy of their suitors. They had to accept a life of no love for the sake of their survival, worse yet, their family's survival.
However, there were those that were lucky, and found true love. Tonight, made me think of the honey. It made me realize how lucky I am to have him, yet we're so mutually stubborn, and born of sharp tongues, that sometimes I just have to throw my arms up in submission. Yet I chose this. This is mine to keep. This is mine to do what I please with. This is not a life that I was born into and forced to live. This is my choice. My choice. What a wonderful concept. A woman's right to choose. To choose to love or hate, to keep or to destroy. Although I couldn't bring myself to do the latter. The freedom of that concept alone is enough to make me cry. I don't know why really. I guess that movie made me think of present day values and customs. How so many women I have seen are so helplessly and stupidly arrogant with themselves. If they only knew the hardships and the predjudice we have endured, maybe their eyes would flicker open and the fog would clear. Maybe they would have more pride then to throw themselves away with contempt and poor self image. Then there are those, that I so look up to, the ones that value themselves and are pillars of strength in my life. Like my mother, my sister. These are two strong women. Two women that remind me to be proud, no matter what company I keep or whatever circumstances I find myself in. They helped form that little voice that reminds me of right and wrong. They showed me what it meant to be a woman.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Long time no post
Wow, it's been over an entire year since I last posted to this site...So much has happened...lemme see, hmm...turned 30, that was weird, in a tragic sort of way...I got engaged, which was one of the happiest moments of my 30 year old life thus far....found out my sister is about 7 months pregnant, (my maid of honor) and also found out, that my best friend, and back-up maid of honor is due on the date of my wedding...jeesh...babies, babies, everywhere...I guess that's what happens when you're 30ish.
It's just so strange, I am in such a different frame of mind since my last post. I did manage to climb at least one step of this corporate ladder, not that much higher, but enough for now. It's made me realize that this is not the place I want to be, no matter what the position is...I don't feel that I will ever truly be taken seriously here...that along with my work ethics starting to go down the drain..I care so much less, which is a sad concept to me. I am late getting in, early leaving, dread coming in when I wake up in the morning, clearly a sign of a need to change careers, or at least place of employment....
As far as the honey goes, I have seen sides of him that I adore, and sides of him that enrage me. I love him nonetheless but am starting to get cold feet about this whole thing we call marriage. We, as I have said before, are like two sticks of dynamite, extremely explosive, but are useless when not ignited..the tot is turning out to be a little stick of dynamite and the ex monster is the darn lighter...I love the honey a lot, but past events have made me a little weary of his temper and mine when pushed too far. I have been able to open my eyes to many flaws, of both of ours, but I thank god that this has given us the opportunity to make substantial changes in the way we handle each other. I sometimes think that I haven't fully let go of past instances or even past relationships, but I push forward each day, and hope that I don't ignite someday...I don't miss the past, or care to revisit it, but I hold on to a lot of anger, this is my biggest flaw.
Ugh, well that was painful....onto lighter things....
Like the fact that I am interviewing at two places at once. I feel like Dr. Jekly and Mr.Hyde..(rubbing palms together) I am planning to plot the two against each other if given the opportunity. I am holding out for the the first place, but don't think it's such a good idea. The second place, I found out, is brining more people in to be interviewed....hmmm, I must've not wow'd them like I thought..Isn't that funny, when you're totally conviced that you're the shit, and someone tells you otherwise. It's like my hotair balloon is deflating and has become nothing but a floating canopy of hissing air, slowly and quietly making it's way back to the ground..
My body aches, I did a full body workout last night, took me 2 hours, but it felt so good. I think I got out a lot of agression. I bought my wedding dress, and man oh man, do I have a lot of work to do on these ever-so-shapely hips of mine...The dress calls for a narrow board-like figured frame, which is everything I am not...So I ordered it bigger and am going to have it downsized, so if I don't make my goal, at least I will still look good. At least I hope...I am trying to eat more often, but smaller meals that consist of more protein, which I think is helping, the weight is starting to go down...Water too, I can't seem to get enough..Too bad I can't have one of those drip things, with the needle that goes in my vein, so I could just scoot around and not worry so much about having to injest so much damned water all the time....
Hooray, its 4:40...only twenty minutes of this rubbish left, ahhh screw my poor work ethics, I have to get home, sum up some sort of tres bien, gourmet meal, preferrably involving chicken....And somehow manage to get catfood and run 5 or 6 miles, that should take me about an hour..the run that is...I don't really like running in the rain, but don't think I will have time to pop in at the gym...Although I feel like a hamster in a wheel when I run on the treadmill. Let's see what exciting adventure itrain has afforded me for oly $7.99, I have tried istrength, now I am on my way to itread...Can't beat the dish run tho' that kicked my arse, my legs hurt for like a week.....
Okay, 15 minutes and counting......I wonder if I will get to buy this laptop from this place if I leave, I love it...It's got a nice big fancy display..hmm, I have been spoiled with the technology..My poor ole dinosaur at home is on it's last legs..Oh yeah, speaking of home, we're looking at houses too. That has been an undying search from hell. Everything we want in the area we're targeting is in the lower 9's...I can't believe that I don't even cringe when I look at $1million dollar homes these days, it's like no big thing anymore, I start to calculate what the mortgage would be in my head, and I don't even flinch really..I just leisurely walk out and think..oh well, that's nice......Okay..I am done with this rant..
It's just so strange, I am in such a different frame of mind since my last post. I did manage to climb at least one step of this corporate ladder, not that much higher, but enough for now. It's made me realize that this is not the place I want to be, no matter what the position is...I don't feel that I will ever truly be taken seriously here...that along with my work ethics starting to go down the drain..I care so much less, which is a sad concept to me. I am late getting in, early leaving, dread coming in when I wake up in the morning, clearly a sign of a need to change careers, or at least place of employment....
As far as the honey goes, I have seen sides of him that I adore, and sides of him that enrage me. I love him nonetheless but am starting to get cold feet about this whole thing we call marriage. We, as I have said before, are like two sticks of dynamite, extremely explosive, but are useless when not ignited..the tot is turning out to be a little stick of dynamite and the ex monster is the darn lighter...I love the honey a lot, but past events have made me a little weary of his temper and mine when pushed too far. I have been able to open my eyes to many flaws, of both of ours, but I thank god that this has given us the opportunity to make substantial changes in the way we handle each other. I sometimes think that I haven't fully let go of past instances or even past relationships, but I push forward each day, and hope that I don't ignite someday...I don't miss the past, or care to revisit it, but I hold on to a lot of anger, this is my biggest flaw.
Ugh, well that was painful....onto lighter things....
Like the fact that I am interviewing at two places at once. I feel like Dr. Jekly and Mr.Hyde..(rubbing palms together) I am planning to plot the two against each other if given the opportunity. I am holding out for the the first place, but don't think it's such a good idea. The second place, I found out, is brining more people in to be interviewed....hmmm, I must've not wow'd them like I thought..Isn't that funny, when you're totally conviced that you're the shit, and someone tells you otherwise. It's like my hotair balloon is deflating and has become nothing but a floating canopy of hissing air, slowly and quietly making it's way back to the ground..
My body aches, I did a full body workout last night, took me 2 hours, but it felt so good. I think I got out a lot of agression. I bought my wedding dress, and man oh man, do I have a lot of work to do on these ever-so-shapely hips of mine...The dress calls for a narrow board-like figured frame, which is everything I am not...So I ordered it bigger and am going to have it downsized, so if I don't make my goal, at least I will still look good. At least I hope...I am trying to eat more often, but smaller meals that consist of more protein, which I think is helping, the weight is starting to go down...Water too, I can't seem to get enough..Too bad I can't have one of those drip things, with the needle that goes in my vein, so I could just scoot around and not worry so much about having to injest so much damned water all the time....
Hooray, its 4:40...only twenty minutes of this rubbish left, ahhh screw my poor work ethics, I have to get home, sum up some sort of tres bien, gourmet meal, preferrably involving chicken....And somehow manage to get catfood and run 5 or 6 miles, that should take me about an hour..the run that is...I don't really like running in the rain, but don't think I will have time to pop in at the gym...Although I feel like a hamster in a wheel when I run on the treadmill. Let's see what exciting adventure itrain has afforded me for oly $7.99, I have tried istrength, now I am on my way to itread...Can't beat the dish run tho' that kicked my arse, my legs hurt for like a week.....
Okay, 15 minutes and counting......I wonder if I will get to buy this laptop from this place if I leave, I love it...It's got a nice big fancy display..hmm, I have been spoiled with the technology..My poor ole dinosaur at home is on it's last legs..Oh yeah, speaking of home, we're looking at houses too. That has been an undying search from hell. Everything we want in the area we're targeting is in the lower 9's...I can't believe that I don't even cringe when I look at $1million dollar homes these days, it's like no big thing anymore, I start to calculate what the mortgage would be in my head, and I don't even flinch really..I just leisurely walk out and think..oh well, that's nice......Okay..I am done with this rant..
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