Heartache

I got to spend some very quality time with my family this past weekend. And OMG my newphew is the cutest thing on earth. It's Monday and I am already missing him...Thursday they leave to go back to the UK and I dread just thinking about it...

I will see them again in July. Hubby and I have been designated God parents to the little guy. I can't wait until July....

I didn't think my heart would ache so badly.

This scares me a little...Am I grown up enough to have my own? and why am I so scared to love something so much....

If this is how I feel about my sister's baby, how will I feel about mine?

The hard part is, this little cutie was VERY anticipated. He was her 5th pregnancy (she lost 4 before him) so we all waited for him holding our breath....He is extremely special to all of us...

They're coming into town (from staying at my parent's house for two weeks) tonight, and I might see them tomorrow night...Oh lord, I can't wait....

I am sucha sap.

Hear me Roar

I really can't stand nights that are planned to be fun, and turn out like crap. Last night was a prime example, went to the movies, had a quick bite to eat. and then came home and fought...I totally hate that...I know I took this scuffle a tad too far, but I think my reasoning was ligit... This time, I was tired, worn out from feeling like I am doing shit for everyone all the time, and the most aggrivating, is ALONE.

I understand wanting to come home and poop out for a while and just decompress, but when crap is starting to pile up, mail needs to be opened, dishes to be clean, laundry to be folded, dinner to be made, chores set aside for the workplace. I feel soooo distressed. I love having my job and working with the people that I do, I just wish I had more time to do personal things and a little more help...I think I have a few answers to my own rant though...

Goal #1

Get a cleaning person... I can't justify this more. there simply isn't enough time in the day to do all the crap that accumulates in my house. Caring for one or two is a different story, but three, sand maybe someday four..I don't think so..

Goal #2

Get TiVo. Nuf said..Too much time is wasted in front of the tube, no matter how much laundry folding gets accomplished. I am really sick of being a the tv networks mercy for their stupid schedules...

I need to go, I have to take time off work to get my damned oil changed....I think I need a little vacay from all this....