bubba

It's been three weeks today since we put the kitty to sleep, and I still miss him like crazy. I don't cry anymore, now I am just sad about it. I thought we might be happier if we got another cat, but it's just not the same...I miss him...

Reaching New Heights

I seem to have reached a new height with my workouts. I don't know exactly what it is. I guess I broke a barrier, or mental block I had put firmly in place for myself for the better part of a few years. A long time ago I was able to run for 10 miles. I am not quite there yet, nor do I strive to be. But I did manage to do a full 6 miles. I got so emotional throughout my run, I felt like crying, laughing, I was all over the place! All the while listening to my ipod! I trained sooo hard. Then today, in a moment of mental weakness I broke down and ate and ate and ate. Chocolate. I don't know why this is my comfort food...Maybe because I got scared with how well I really did, and I sorta secretly sabotaged myself?? I don't know. At least now I don't really think too much about the workouts, I just do them. I've been targeting 7 days a week. I managed to do 6 last week, and will do 6 again this week.

Our Team in Training official kickoff is this Saturday. I still have $2100 left to raise. Which I think I will pull off somehow. Tonight is supposed to be my off day, but I missed my Tuesday workout. (Wasn't feeling too well) But I am meeting with my personal trainer tonight. I am excited, he's good, just talks a lot sometimes...

Wow, I need to run, I am going to be late if I don't leave now!! TGIF.

Training Blues

Lord, who knew that training AND fund-raising would be so difficult? Not only am I pushing myself physically more than I ever have, everyday, but I am living with the anxiety of not being able to raise enough money by my deadline. The schedule may not seem like much to those who are athletically gifted, but to an artist by trade, and daughter of Italians (I am touching on all the food I am inclined to eat without a moments hesitation) it's been quite a stretch for me. Mind you all this stuff happens after a full business day, and pre or post step-mommy responsibilities.. (which thankfully for my ROCKSTAR husband, have been few these days)

Monday: run 30-60 min.
Tuesday: bike / swim 45 min. each
Wednesday: bike / swim 45 min. each
Thursday: run 60 min.
Friday: (I am supposed to rest, but have decided to start meeting with my personal trainer to start strength training again)
Saturday: run (not sure duration yet, probably short 30 min run)

Fund-raising...ARG! I know people seem to have really good intentions, but no one is really ACTING on them...It's discouraging only because I am so heavily involved now. The only money in my online donation site is the $25 I donated to myself! (lol, it's starting to make me feel a little hopeless) However....I did notice people taking my url-tear off- thingies from the flyers I have posted at every Starbucks imaginable...Okay, so I only hit 10 or 12 places last night..but it's really interesting to see how different people treat you when you're asking for money. I didn't buy coffe, just made a complete ass of myself for trying to stick tacks onto a magnetic board..Hey, no one said you had to be a genius to do this!

Good thing about all this is, I have been sleeping like a hibernating bear. Bad thing is, I am out like a light by 10:30 or 11. poor hubby.

My toes really hurt today, lol, not my feet but my toes..Hmm and my abs to. My trainer nearly strangled me when I told him what I am planning. Not because he doesn't believe in me, but because he's visualizing all sorts of muscle tears and sprains.

Ah well, thank god it's Friday, at least I get to sleep in tomorrow and resume my knitting / crocheting bonanza. I think I am going to try and sell my scarves to help raise some dough...

Dough...hmm, cookies anyone?? I think I smell a bake sale..

Team in Training -YIKES!!

Okay, call me "CRAZY"!!! I have decided to try and complete my first triathlon. My first meeting is this weekend. I have to figure out how much money I can commit to raising for Team in Training and if I am faint at heart...It goes to a very worthwhile cause..I will raises funds that will go toward research for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin's disease, and related cancers. Seeing that I've had family members that have passed away due to cancer and that currently live with cancer, this means quite a bit to me. This is more than just a race.

Initially I never thought I could do something like this until one of my very brave co-workers reeled me in. I will be participating in 0.93-mile open water swim, 24.8-mile bike ride, and then round it off with a 6.2-mile run. I am nervous as hell, but feel confident that my excitement will propel me through. Plus, it will be nice to get in shape for such a good reason!

If you're reading this blog right now, and are a friend of mine, you may get hit up for a donation. I guess this meeting will be very telling this weekend. I am pretty amped about it, and can't wait to see what they say. This isn't a full triathlon, I think it's half, but nonetheless, I want my future kids to know that Mommy kicked some ass before they were born. :D


God help me!

For the kitty

Dear Bubba,
I am so sorry we had to put you to sleep this morning. Your papa and I had a really rough time with this. My head is still pounding from all the tears that escaped. We were supposed to do this on Christmas Eve. But we fought it, feeling that you still had more spunk in you. You did. But you've faded quickly. After 18 years of life, which is a nice long life for a kitty, today marks the day of your death.

Last night was a very rough night for you. You meowed at all hours of the night. The bags under my eyes are very big today, and the sorrow in my heart is heavy. After I woke up and found you in the condition you were in, it wasn't difficult to make the decision. I don't want you to suffer anymore. You were very quiet on the way to the Humane Society. I think you knew what was going on. You were a great cat even to the very last moment.

Little guy is going to be very upset tonight. He doesn't know yet. He will miss you the most. He was your boy for 11 years. As far as we were concerned you belonged "to him". This is just another difficult step that I am going to have to learn to take as his step-mommy. We will be there for him, and be strong as much as we both miss you. I was told that when I said goodbye to you this morning that you took the whole thing well. You purred all the way to the very end.

You weren't my kitty from the very start, but you made me feel like you were right away. You loved me so unconditionally. I will never forget what a sweet cat you were, and there will always be special spot in my heart for you.

I hope that you make it up to kitty heaven and watch us from there. Buster already misses you and is acting strange. It's going to be hard getting used to not seeing you anymore.

I love you.
Your Mama
S