Letting Go

After talking to my mom, tonight I realized that life is too short to live sadly. She made some very eye-opening points. No one has a perfect life, and I should by no means try to live my life to anyone's standard. I have a great life, a loving husband, and a nice home. I don't know why I complain. I guess sometimes I feel like everyone has it so much better than I do. When in fact, I am probably better off than a lot of people. Not to ride my high horse or anything, but I really do need to step back a be more grateful. My mom reminded me of how much I laugh, and how important that is in life. She's right, stupid and funny little things really do make me laugh.

For example...(you may not find this funny, so just bear with me) I was chatting away on the phone and Buster (our Boxer) decided it was a fabulous idea to plop his body down next to my bed, and fart up a storm. First of all, I hate the word fart, second of all, a dog fart is the worst scent anyone can possibly imagine. So I asked the Tot to call him, he was playing video games in his room. He did the funniest and loudest whistle, that almost sounded like "Buuuuuuuuuster" but with a trill at the end of it. I laughed so hard that I started crying. I made him do it again and again, just so my mom could hear it. And soon enough we were both giggling, over I don't know what, or why even.

I did battle a small panic attack tonight, before dinner just after my last blog. I know realize that while, yes it's good to let loose and let the emotions run wild, it may not be the best for my sanity level to let them run quite THAT freely. I miss my sister, yes. I love her, more than life. I wish I could spend more time with her, all the time...But I do have a good life. I feel like I've been in a hazy sad fog and I am just now coming to my senses...Crazy, quite possibly...Enlightened? Oh yes. Grateful for all the things I have, and the things that have yet to come, totally.