So, here I am. I am actually contracting. The strange thing is, even though I've been neglecting this blog, I feel more centered and down to earth than I have in a VERY long time. (My absence usually depicts a dip in my ability to verablize the crap I am going through) I am not necessarily in a bad place, but I can see that if I want to make any sort of headway into mommyhood, I will need a full time job, with full time benefits. It's cool, at least I am getting my feet wet and I am desinging again. I didn't realize how much I've missed it. I've been going through a whole gamut of emotions lately. Seeing that it's "the week before" I have to excuse myself, because I am a tad more postal than the other three weeks of the month.
Around the end of August, I had a full panel of bloodwork done. I came to realize that I had borderline high cholesterol, and high thyroid hormones. My doctor made me change my diet / exercise completely. It's been an adjustment, but definitely one for the better. I get up every morning now at 6:15 or 6:30, and workout for about an hour. I then head over to the Cisco cafeteria, where I enjoy my regular eggwhite veggie omelette. It sucks not eating normal dairy or any sort of fatty animal products. But now that I actually think it out loud, it seems kinda gross. Fatty animal products...ick.. I think I am losing weight, my clothes feel a little loser, although the scale isn't changing. I think I need to watch my portion control. Today, I just took what I normally eat, and cut it in half. It was weird at first, but when I noticed that I wasn't a starved maniac. I was cool with it. It will just take some getting used to and a lot more water intake.
I took my measurements, so that will be a good comparison in a few months. What I NEED to do, is take the dreaded "before" picture and then stow it away and then pull it out in 6 months and relish in all my hard work. Working out 6 days a week isn't as bad as it may seem. It only sucks on days like today, where I haven't gotten enough sleep and I am on the verge of ripping someone's head off. At least I've only had one major episode this month. God, I can't wait to be pregnant so I don't have to deal with my stupid premenstrual hormones anymore. Some say it gets worse, but really, can glowing for 9 months out of 12 REALLY be that bad? Ok, so there's morning sickness, and early contractions / labor pains, and the "actual" birth, but will it send raging premenstrual hormones coursing through my veins, making passerby's fear for their safety for about a week? I think not...
Oh yeah, my friend asked me to start writing lyrics for his songs! WAY COOL. I am just a little nervous as to how I will be "perceived" I am a little sensitive about that. I usually just write poetry for my own sanity. But not feeling the need to vent, I am all out of steam! So I guess I will just plug away at it. I am not feeling any one feeling stronger than any other...So this will be interesting. Had he asked me like a month ago, I would have had endless material for him.
Speaking of which...I finally decided to let go of my anger. I forgave my old boss. Chatting with him online really helped me. People keep telling me how it took a big person to do something like that. But really, all I did was listen to my heart. I had to forgive him. Too many things in my life are "right" right now, I can't afford to let that bitter my insides anymore. I have just written it off to "crappy things happen to good people." Life dealt me lemons, so I am making lemonade.
I need to go, I actually have some "work" to do. I am not really motivated to do it. There isn't a huge time constraint like there was at my last job. Jeez, working here has been a walk in the clouds compared to where I've just come from. It's good, less hair is falling out and the whites aren't sprouting quite as quickly as before :D I guess you can say, I am in a good place right now, financially, emotionally, spiritually. I haven't given up hope on Apple. But I am giving myself the freedom to be okay with maybe right now isn't the right time for Apple. But I know in my heart, eventually it will be!
No comments:
Post a Comment